Love, Loss, and The Sweet Nectar of Victory

This time last year, I was watching Super Bowl 50 wondering why it is my New England Patriots weren't playing. "Oh. Thats right." I remembered. They had gotten the ass kicking of a lifetime and lost to Denver in the AFC title game. I was bitter. As I watched the Super Bowl, I gritted my teeth and had a frown on my face. I absolutely hate losing, and I'll never forget the anger I felt in that moment. My quarterback's legacy had been smeared and tarnished, and he didn't have a chance to avenge himself by making Roger Goodell hand him a Lombardi Trophy.

As I sat back and watched Super Bowl 51 today, I was a nervous train wreck. At some points during this game, I was borderline depressed. Throughout the 1st quarter through out the 3rd, the Patriots were getting pummeled by a high flying Falcons attack in all phases of the game. "Not again." I thought to myself. I was in a disarray of shock. We were getting outplayed, and at one point trailed by 25 points. And again, I found a mixture of anger and sorrow welling up inside from my gut. Finally Tom Brady had gotten to summit, but he wouldn't be able to stand on top and be handed the trophy after having one of the most outstanding seasons as a 39 year old quarterback in only 12 games.

It was September 9th of the 2007 season when I began to watch football, and coincidentally it was the first time I laid eyes on Tom Brady. The game he had against the Jets that day, I'll never forget. Especially the Moss catch. But really, after that game Brady became my hero in life. It was like watching someone on a higher existence throw a football. The eloquence in which he played with that day, I'll always remember. But today for the first time ever in my life, I doubted my hero.

Tom Brady isn't a robot with iron flowing through his veins, and watching the first 3 quarters of Super Bowl 51 I painfully realized that. But never once in my life have I ever counted him out of a game. Today was different though. Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, or was being too negative, but in the end I just thought a 25 point deficit was insurmountable. Little by little, the Patriots chipped away at that lead but I still thought the game was over. And I couldn't have been more wrong.

The 4th quarter came and went, and so did my heart. On to the field stepped a man with no fear, and all the confidence in the world. He didn't need to say a word. I could tell every time he threw the football silently with his expressionless face he was saying to himself "No way in hell am I going to lose here like this." And the Patriots under direction from Brady rallied to tie the game up and bring it into overtime. As overtime came I felt a pang of relief that we had a chance to win, but a sense of overwhelming guilt swelled up inside me. If I couldn't have 100% faith in my hero, how could I even call him that?

As the Patriots won the coin toss and elected to receive the ball, the only feelings left for me at that moment were an extreme tension and an overwhelming sense of nervousness. I still at that moment, had doubt in my hero and I regret it deeply. Brady in overtime proceeded to effortlessly move the ball down field, and score to win his 5th Lombardi Trophy. At that moment a jumbled mix of emotions formed into big tears that streamed down my face.

I know that I'm not a member of New England's football team, and I never will be. But seeing my hero claim the sweet nectar of victory, and be able to bask in the glory of revenge that was delayed by a painful year of adversity was one of the most moving moments of my life. I'll never be able to say I know how he feels, but being able to come over a moment in his life in which it was him against the world on top, was extremely emotional for me.

My hero has been able to enjoy the view from the top of the summit for 5 times in his life, a number that may never be surpassed. And even though I'm not up there with him to enjoy it tonight, as I'm just a spectator from the bottom, I'll never forget the feeling of watching him hoist this 5th Lombardi Trophy so long as I walk this earth.